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Original Poems
Started by asIam at 04-28-2008 8:28 PM. Topic has 11 replies.
  
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 04-28-2008, 8:28 PM
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asIam
 
Joined on 02-02-2007
28545
Posts 916
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“Utopia”
I fall asleep in front of my mind and dream as if I am still controlled by it/ ascension out of hemisphere atmosphere stratosphere and still it seems as if I cant escape right here/ if in my mind I could find the time to enjoy what doesn’t seem enjoyable a perfect state of bliss see I want to dream of innocence
and in a sense hope was lost when innocence walked out holding hands with possibility like I can taste the blue in the clouds but it rains on my lips
I wanted to taste the sugar from the rose like fresh cherries but vision became blurry as the poison crushed my taste buds see I want to dream of innocence but in a sense I don’t know how I tried to skip across color lines a rainbow of undefined boundaries and then in my dreams I realized that I dream in color and this world can’t let me forget it on some black power type white supremacy “ish” see I…I wonder what a perfect world would be like, maybe something like the resounding sound of chalk on ghetto cracked concrete right next to the crack needle that just gave the crack head a new out look on life like the smell of locked out children chasing after a caged ice cream truck with the 5 dollars from your new uncle meaning you could treat the whole block like when two “pony-tails” was the style and I needed beads on the ends of my braids just so I could have a rhythm to my favorite song called my heart beat maybe it’s the sirens that put me to sleep at night just to let me know that the world didn’t stop…stop…STOP dreaming little black girl that once was because you’ll never be her again never know innocence again only a certain sleep in front of your mind that for a moment lets you ascend pass time into your once know and always longed for UtOpIa
yes even now I still hope for her.
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered.
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04-28-2008, 10:27 PM
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MsButterfly94
Joined on 12-16-2005
Overthere.com
Posts 8,685
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Baby sisssssssss!!!!!! THis...is...fiyah!!!!!! Loved loved LOVED the FLOW!!!!!!
--}i{
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04-28-2008, 10:40 PM
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throb4u
Joined on 12-14-2006
92508
Posts 234
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 asIam wrote: | |
“Utopia”
I fall asleep in front of my mind and dream as if I am still controlled by it/ ascension out of hemisphere atmosphere stratosphere and still it seems as if I cant escape right here/ if in my mind I could find the time to enjoy what doesn’t seem enjoyable a perfect state of bliss see I want to dream of innocence
and in a sense hope was lost when innocence walked out holding hands with possibility like I can taste the blue in the clouds but it rains on my lips
I wanted to taste the sugar from the rose like fresh cherries but vision became blurry as the poison crushed my taste buds
stop…stop…STOP dreaming little black girl that once was because you’ll never be her again never know innocence again only a certain sleep in front of your mind that for a moment lets you ascend pass time into your once know and always longed for UtOpIa
yes even now I still hope for her.
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These are some my favorite lines from your poem!
"The highest expression of love is to give without expecting and to accept without exception"
India Aire
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04-30-2008, 4:20 PM
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asIam
Joined on 02-02-2007
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Posts 916
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thank ya chicas
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered.
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05-01-2008, 4:31 AM
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soulexact
Joined on 05-06-2007
23225
Posts 663
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oh I must have skipped over this 1 some how. this poem is fresh sis! I love it! your play on words got me hypnotized ova here lol. there's so much imagery coming from it. =)
U KNOW!!!
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05-01-2008, 12:45 PM
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JAH1BUTTERFLY
Joined on 01-24-2008
38119
Posts 37
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NICE!
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. ~Song of Solomon ch.1 v.2
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05-02-2008, 12:36 PM
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Silent Medley
Joined on 01-29-2006
53216
Posts 506
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first off i would like to say that this piece helped me write my first complete poem during my writers block that i'm still in so thank u for that...this was so misleading in a good way...like this started out with a vibe of fantasy that blended its way into reality thru color schemes. From beginning to end it kept my attention...and the twist in the middle was def. a nice touch....the overall was so vivid yet subtle and hard hitting. This is def one of my fav poems from you AI...very nice work
myspace.com/silentmedley
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05-07-2008, 6:31 PM
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asIam
Joined on 02-02-2007
28545
Posts 916
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thank you im glad u enjoyed FAM :) im trying to step my pen game up LOL
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered.
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08-18-2008, 5:43 AM
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Sunrise
Joined on 06-01-2008
44120
Posts 7
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.... your expression in this write is amazing - Utopia - something we all yearn for but yet so unattainable! - Your thoughts in this are profound!
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules
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08-22-2008, 5:42 PM
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HEAVILYsedated
Joined on 12-13-2007
32907
Posts 46
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wowwwwwww.
i've never heard you speak but i heard your voice ringing throughout the poem.
i can imagine it like something straight from the stage of def jam poetry. u built a story around this that i could relate to.
thank you so much for blessing me wit this piece.
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09-16-2008, 6:47 PM
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asIam
Joined on 02-02-2007
28545
Posts 916
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Heavily S: thank you for feeling me on this, Ive never done spoken word before (im a chicken) but i appreciate that to the utmost. Peace.
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered.
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09-16-2008, 6:48 PM
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asIam
Joined on 02-02-2007
28545
Posts 916
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Sunrise: Thank you 4 ur kind words, something so close and still out of reach. I appreciate you. PEace!
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered.
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Floetry » Poet's Corner » Original Poems » Re: utopia?
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